The holidays can be hard enough but when you have lost a loved one it can make things a lot harder.

I lost my husband to cancer 16 years ago and the holidays just have not been the same since. We have four children who were 16, 14, 6 & 3 yrs old when he passed. The first Christmas was hardest for our youngest. She missed her dad, knew he was with Jesus but wanted him home for Christmas. We all missed him, but she was the vocal one. The older kids didn’t say much but I could see the sadness in their faces. Those first few years I coped by giving them the “material wants”, thinking that would make them happy and not miss dad as much. That wasn’t the answer.

Just being together was what we all needed. I feel that people who know God have it a little easier-they know where their loved one is. It’s still a difficult time, but He will get you through it. People would ask if I was mad at God for taking him. My answer was always no, I’m not mad just wonder why now. There is no timeline for grief. Some years are better than others, but you will always feel the void they have left behind. Keeping the old traditions and adding new ones do help. We continue to have much to celebrate! Scripture tells us “rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.” Romans 5:3-5.

-Written By Pat Dorning

Copyright Tern Christian Counseling 2011